Actually, the title of this entry is misleading. My trip to the hospital preceded the injury. It's an embarrassing story.
Here's what happened: a friend of mine (Mom may remember Jessica and Dan from her visit) just gave birth this morning. I came by to visit her. Her poor husband and mother hadn't eaten or slept in a long time, so I offered to drive them out to get something, since the cafeteria was closed. I was parked far away from the entrance, so I decided to run for the car so they wouldn't have to wait in the 105° Phoenix night time heat for too long. In the darkness, I perceived a curb where there was none, so I tripped and wiped out in the parking lot! My hands and an elbow were scraped and bleeding pretty badly. How helpful of me!
Jessica's mother suggested we go back up to the hospital room so we could ask if a nurse could clean and bandage my wounds. No such luck! We were informed that they could not treat me, but I could go to the adjacent emergency room.
I decided that the emergency room was not a good option, since I have no medical insurance, and the wait would be undoubtedly long anyway. So I cleaned my wounds in the restroom, made some makeshift gauze out of paper towels, and made the trek to a nearby Wal-Mart. Picking up and purchasing ointment, gauze, and medical tape while trying to apply pressure to three bleeding wounds was an amusing adventure. Once the supplies were acquired, I squatted out in the parking lot, and applied all of my medical skills (skill level 0) to patching myself up. Check out this handiwork:
Unfortunately, my choice of medical squatting spots was on top of a colony of ants. Once I finished taping the gauze, I finally noticed them swarming over the bloody paper towels, not to mention my entire body. Those guys were in a feeding frenzy or something. At least they didn't get into the wounds.
Anyway, I'm really happy for my friends. I think they'll be fantastic parents. It will be interesting seeing how they'll adjust to the new changes in their lives. Hopefully we'll still be able to squeeze in an occasional pinochle game.
4 comments:
Hehe. Now that the ants have had a taste of blood for their first time, they will probably crave it more. You probably created the first actual mutants!! Well, in Phoenix, anyway.
As a side note, why is there an "o" in Phoenix? And why don't we pronounce it "Phonics?" To bad the city doesn't have a similar stereotype as Louisiana does... It'd give a whole new meaning to "Hooked on Phoenix worked for me!"
Congratulations to you and them on the baby. As long as you will be their adopted uncle and offer to watch the kid (boy or girl?)
(never finished my comment)
...As long as you will be their adopted uncle and offer to watch the kid, you should have no problem spending time with them.
I'm grateful that you spared us the blood and gore. We can only imgine that the injuries were horrendous because of the size of the bandages. However, you are smiling....
I do remember your friends. Did they have a boy or a girl and what did they name him/her? Tell them congrats for us and send us pictures of the baby.
Well, not a bad patch-up job considering you had to do it left handed. Congrats to your friends!
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